I'm not even sure if anyone is still reading this blog. I've neglected it as the downs became much to heavy to deal with on a regular basis.
Seems my bright idea to use this as a sort of therapy, fell a little flat and brought up so many feelings and thoughts that I hadn't had since my teenage days.
I do have some good news in all this - while I'm still suffering headaches quite a bit, I've run across a long time friend who I thought I would see or hear from again. My heart swelled as I found this person again.
I don't think I need to tell any one of you how hard it is for me to take someone into my trusted circle (that sounded overly sappy and I'm really sorry for that!) but that I also have a hard time dealing with the reality that maybe people don't see me the same as I see myself. I'm still my worst critic and as much as I'd like to think that I'm worthy of attention, love, respect and a happy life.... I still struggle to think that way.
All I can say now is that I'm happier now then I've been in SO long.. it's almost like I'm in a dream and I am fearful that the other shoe will drop and snap me back to the reality that I've grown accustomed to - living with disappointment and just 'being'.
**I'm hoping to change that - I want to LIVE and I want to be HAPPY.........
A revisit --- and how I came up with the name for this blog...