Monday, June 9, 2008

What is "normal"?

Sometimes I lie awake at night and wonder if I'm putting too much stock into being 'normal'. What is "NORMAL", anyway?

For example, people always say things like, "I'm truly happy now".... as compared to what? How does a person measure happiness? I know I have moments of happy, but to say that one is walking around 'happy now'? I don't get it.

Just like normal. Who's to say that I'm not perfectly normal and that everyone else is 'off'? Who is to say that the people that grew up without ever being struck or emotionally ripped apart are the ones who aren't normal?

Forgive me please, for I am rambling a bit. These are thoughts I have every now and then when the house is dark and quiet. The moments when I'm truly alone in my own head and sometimes, it's not a pleasant place to be.

I find myself being utterly resentful of the people who grew up without so much as a slap on the wrist when they made a mistake... although my logical side says that it's illogical to feel resentment toward a person because they grew up in a NORMAL home.

The thing I'm finding to be disheartening is that I don't know if the feelings I have about myself and the world around me are NORMAL or if I'm being narrow minded because my 'spin' on the world was clouded by things that I could not at one time, control.

Does that make sense?


Karen ^..^ said...

I have these very same thoughts. I think there has to be an equal balance of happiness/unhappiness, in order to recognize one from the other. It is when things become too unbalanced that there is a problem, and things get clouded and skewed.

Truly, we all "wish" for a world without pain, but would we recognize THAT true peace if we were given it, after a while? Or would we, in our human natured sort of way, take it for granted after a while, grow bored of it, and in our human natured sort of self destructive way, feel compelled to stir the shit pot so things become more balanced again?

Yeah, Michelle... I do it too. Don't worry, you aren't abnormal. You are not normal either. You are extraordinary.

Tory said...

I agree with Karen. I often say that, right now, is the happiest time in my life that I've ever known. It's because I have all the things I have wished for all my life and never had..i.e..(true) love, security, good relationships with my loved ones..etc. I know I'm happy now, simply because I know what it's like to be truly unhappy.
Yes, you are 'normal'. Everyone has these thoughts. You and I are not so 'normal' as to be boring, though.

Fran said...

I don't think the word "normal" is the right one, because this word is subjective, one person who grew up in a good family, doesn't exist.
I sait it, because we all bring our problems, sometimes because we were the younger of the kid or the cetera.
And most of people don't remind their problems, until 45 y old and maybe more because their subconscious never allowed them to remind a rape, or brutality.
I feel that only stupid persons are happy, or those who don't want to see the bad and sad of their lives.
You are Extroardinary and I wished I helped you to see people as you, just because you are a good mother and a good woman.

Barry said...

It is perfectly normal to have these thoughts.

OK, I just could NOT resist saying that :P

Clueless said...

I always think normal to what standard. But, then I ask my therapist am I normal meaning is my reaction within the realm of how most people would react. I have difficulty sometimes knowing what "normal" is, but, I think, I'm learning that it doesn't matter. What really matter is just allowing myself to "be." Am I being normal and making sense? Or do I think strangely?

Glutton For Punishment said...

We are kindred spirits. I have thought the same thoughts on multiple occasions and have come to the conclusion as to the topic of normalcy. There is no such thing as normal. Everyone has quirks. Normal is a word like nice, or fine. It's filler. It means nothing. And IF you think someone is normal, you don't know them well enough.

I sit up at night and do what I call "self-shrinking". I figure why waste time and money seeing a shrink for an issue I'm having today when they don't have the background on the topic? Then I'd spend 6 months bringing them up to speed one hour at a time. And at that point, my original issue would probably be a non issue, bringing to light, that it probably wasn't that big of a deal to begin with.

Ok, now I'm rambling! Well, I love your blog and am adding it to my blogroll...have a great day and keep writing!

Dougist said...

Normal is a societal cue for "get back in line!"

It means that you are expected to be in the middle of the curve, not exceptional, in success or failure, not innovative and *gasp* not artistic. The greatest difficulty in being actualized is finding your own inner sense of affirmation so you can absolutely reject any external feelings of "normal".

Not to be cynical, but its about You, not Them.

(And yes, I've ben reading a lot of Ayn Rand these